I do not believe in the Tooth Fairy.

Yesterday my tooth fell out. I put it under my cushion. Today there is nothing under my cushion at all. No tooth and no reward. Mind you, I have often thought this Fairy to be a myth.

Questions have often come to me : What, exactly, does she do with all those teeth? Possibilities are:

• Building materials.
• Jewelry.
• Mineral extraction.
• Sinister medical experiments.
• Sold on to third parties. Possibly the chinese traditional medicine market (investigations should be done into the aphrodisiac/healing properties of ground teeth).

In any case, all of this is irrelevant. I will never smile again.