In which I give advice

Why are people so slow on the uptake? At least they know enough to ask my opinion. For example, this arrived for me today ..

Dear Vladimir,

Lately, when I come home from shopping my cat is laying in wait for me. She hides herself and somewhere between the front door and the kitchen she jumps out and bites my ankle. What can I do?

Feel fortunate that it’s only your ankle she bites. I have been known myself to bite gentlemen callers in painful places.

You know perfectly well that we stalk and hunt. We are predators. Hunting and stalking gives us a little exercise, provides us with a release for pent up energy and adds a little excitement to life. Why deny your doubtless long-suffering cat a spot of excitement?

Usually, your cat would prefer chasing mice or other small rodents. If you haven’t got any mice, your cat is bored! She has learned your patterns of behavior and, when she hears your key in the door, goes into stalking mode and pounces.

If for some inexplicable reason you don’t wish to play, get your cat some toys. Toys that roll across the floor, toys that bounce, toys that dangle from door knobs.

Failing that, pay a quick visit to the pet shop and buy some mice.

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