It’s always a thrill to get fan mail. Once I sort through the advertisements for feline rejuvenation, electoral dysfunction and cheap cathouse loan offers there’s usually not much left in my inbox, but I hit gold this morning. A warm message of good cheer from a chap named Chester.

At first glance, Chester looked like any other tuxedo cat. Smart, suave and sassy in black and white. However there’s more to Chester than meets the eye.

We have a similar early background, both of us left to fend for ourselves in a harsh, human world at an impressionable age. Both of us battling hardship before finally making the decision to adopt a woman to feed us.

But that’s where the similarity ends.

I’m a city cat, born and bred within earshot of the trams rattling through the metropolis, in the hub of the frightening freeways and the incessant honking of taxi cabs.

Chester was born in a barn.

The woman who feeds Chester suspects his parentage to contain a touch of the feral and that could be true for all we know. Out there in the wild bush anything can happen. In any case, Chester has a hankering for the great outdoors and, when he’s not hunting in the local Air Force base, spends his time on the roof. (It’s been a while since I’ve sunned myself on the roof tiles. The possums can take the high ground for all I care).

Chester likes Fussy Cat too, just like me. If you can’t get salmon, I say, go for the minced kangaroo chopped with lambs fry and ox heart.

It all goes to prove that, beneath the fur, Chester and I are brothers.

High Paw to you, Chester!

Do you yearn for the open road? Ever feel an itch to set out into the unknown world and just move on and on to the horizon?

I do.

Let me tell you something in confidence, the next time the-woman-who-feeds-me attempts to spoon out food from a can in my bowl (quelle horreure!) I’m hitting that highway!

I’ll be heading for the Hillbilly Highway, Highway 61, Highway 20 Ride, I don’t care which one, I’ll hit the road, Jack. It will be my way or the highway.

And it can be done! Kitty the Cat, backpacker extraordinaire, is spending the next 3 years hiking from Miami to Ushuaia in Tierra del Fuego.

Accompanying her on her journey are her staff people, William and Laetitia, a French couple who fancy a bit of walking to pass the time.

The tireless trio share their adventures on Turn of the World with photos and video.

Although, now that I think about it, perhaps it would be a little irksome padding along for three years, I get tired easily these days. Maybe I can convince the woman to carry me along the road instead? (as long as she can cook my meals four times a day).

I was appalled to hear of a dog being refused entry to a restaurant because he was gay. And this deplorable act of discrimination occurred in South Australia where it’s against the law!

You can’t discriminate against a dog because he’s gay!

Here’s the whole shocking story of the gay dog being refused service in a restaurant

What kind of world are we living in?

When a dog wishes to go out for a quiet dinner with his person, it’s for reasons of enjoyment, relaxation and a cosy bit of bonding. How awful to be slapped in the face with such callous treatment from cold hearted restauranteurs. I’ll never go to dine there I can assure you!

Not that I frequently go out to dinner, or go out anywhere much at all, these days. I prefer to lie around on the patio or on the couch while the woman who feeds me fusses over the stove gently poaching my chicken pieces. On some mornings it’s even too much of an effort to drag myself around near the front gate so I can leap out from the rhododendrons and terrify the paper boy.

But I ask you, why would anyone object to a gay dog? Would they prefer a depressed one?

Would you feel comfortable tucking into your Peking Duck when there was a mournful mutt at the next table? Give me a gay dog anytime!

P.S. The photo up the top there is not of Nudgie the Gay Dog, it’s of two dogs in some place called British Columbia. The woman got it from Big Stock Photo. Nudgie is hiding from the papparazzi.