Heaven knows I try to behave as a gentleman of my vintage should.

I’m polite (most of the time) I treat other cats with respect (unless they walk in my backyard) I don’t bite people (not since the postman made an official complaint) and I have patience with young ones.

But some disturbing news today. Looks like my patience, forbearance and self control will be sorely tested this month.

The woman’s granddaughter is off on a trip for a fortnight and guess who will be kitten-sitting?

It’s fine and dandy for the woman to make such a magnanimous offer but who will be doing all the work? Who will have their privacy invaded? Their crockery sniffed? Their naps disturbed?

I refuse point blank to share the bathroom facilities.

I suppose I will have to contribute to their education as well.

Kittens are pests!

But sometimes I worry about the ones who are really large for their age.

I can assure you I feel nothing but sympathy for the mother but, I fear that excessive use of vitamins and such unnatural food additives leads to problems.