I’m a clever cat, a cool cat, a hunter by nature, a stalker of small, scampering prey. I keep myself in top shape with my toys, particularly my trusty sparring partner, the Cat Dancer.
It’s hard to find much in the line of quivering rodents these days. Not a mouse to be seen for miles and, as for rats, eight years ago I assassinated the last one recorded in my neighbourhood.
For an athletic, agile exterminator like myself, the lack of suitable quarry can cause all sorts of problems. The worst of these is boredom.
Take my word for it, there’s not much worse than a bored cat in your life.
I’m never bored
But I’m not a bored cat, I stay in peak condition with all my senses honed to a razor edge.
I’m constantly computing angles and trajectories, calculating multi-directional distance and analysing every possible outcome. Some people say that I’m a mathematician, but the simple truth is that I’m a hunter.
Want to know the secret of my youthful abilities?
It’s my toys that keep me on top. And the best toy is my Cat Charmer. I need my Cat Charmer. You must have a toy to stalk, to chase, to pounce on.
When you’re a kitten a lot of play is reflexive behaviour, you just do it without thinking. Once you’ve grown, however, the play is real. You simply have to play. Remember, you’re a predator, your play is hunting.
Plus, you’ll get a nice warm glow from knowing that your human likes to play with the Cat Dancer just as much as you do. You bond more deeply. It’s a happy side effect.
How to catch the Cat Charmer
My favourite toys are the ones that move. My eyes are finely balanced to detect the slightest movement and as soon as the Cat Dancer makes the tiniest of a wiggle, I’m on to it. Then, the hair-trigger computation immediately followed by the lightning slash of the paw.
It takes a lot of energy to grab the prey. Depending on the mindset of your human, you could be scrambling and leaping, even wrestling, for some time. Stubborn insistence is the answer.
You can beat the Cat Charmer if you try